Scripture:
Habakkuk 1:2 (ESV)
O LORD, how long shall I cry for help,
and you will not hear?
Or cry to you “Violence!”
and you will not save?
I keep getting drawn back to the book of Habakkuk. Over and over,
it’s the place in Scripture that pulls me in—and for a while, I didn’t fully
understand why. But after some painful experiences in a church we loved, the
connection became clear.
This is the story of how I came to relate deeply to a prophet who asked
honest questions, waited in painful silence, and chose to trust God anyway.
Something Felt Off, But We Stayed
We were part of a church that, on the surface, seemed good. We liked the
pastor and his wife—they were kind and welcoming. But something didn’t sit
quite right in our spirits. We couldn’t put our finger on it, but the unease
was there.
I had regular lunches with the pastor. I even shared that while I grew up
in an Assemblies of God (AG) church, I didn’t fully agree with all of their
doctrine. It had never been a problem in my previous church. At first, he
seemed understanding.
Still, that uneasy feeling lingered. I prayed. A lot. I asked God if we
should leave, but I didn’t feel released. When I finally did feel that
release, I questioned whether it was because I had been pushing for it so hard.
So, we stayed. For another nine months—until things got worse.
Speaking Up, Being Shut Down
I started posting personal beliefs and reflections on Facebook—not
attacking anyone or any church, just sharing where I was in my walk with God. I
had about 45 friends and knew not many people would even read it. But somehow,
my posts struck a nerve.
Over the next few months, the pastor began taking jabs at my beliefs from
the pulpit. At first, I let it go. But it didn’t stop. He only offered one
Scripture to counter what I’d shared, and even that didn’t really fit the
issue. It felt like I was being targeted.
Eventually, I met with the pastor and explained why we were leaving. He
first denied targeting me, then admitted he understood why I felt that
way—saying, “Your Facebook post is your pulpit, and I have mine.” In other
words, yes, he was responding to me publicly.
The conversation didn’t go well.
The Fallout and the Freedom
I posted about our decision to leave on Facebook, and the response blew
up. The former pastor asked me to take it down. I didn’t right away, but
eventually, I did. Looking back, I’m not sure that was the right decision.
Despite everything, we still love that pastor and his wife. I made sure
to express that in my post. And we continue to feel compassion for our former
church.
Today, we’re part of a small Baptist church—something my wife never
expected, since she grew up Baptist and didn’t think I’d ever go that route. Is
it a perfect church? No—because
I go there. But the pastor preaches the Word of God, and I believe
we’re right where God wants us.
Because Habakkuk wrestled.
He didn’t understand why God allowed certain things to continue. He cried
out for answers and didn’t get them right away. He watched what felt like
injustice happening among God’s people and wondered how long God would stay
silent.
And yet—he waited. He listened. And in the end, he trusted.
“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines...
yet I will rejoice in the Lord.”
— Habakkuk 3:17-18
I’ve learned that it’s okay to wrestle with God. It’s okay to ask hard
questions. And it’s possible to do both of those things while still holding
on to trust.
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